Family, Life

Word of the Week: Brave

Last week my word for the week was ‘persevere’. The word served me well. I needed to make a couple of major decisions and I needed the courage to push through and make things happen.

My mother has lived with me for more than ten years now. I built a cottage for her on my property at great expense, but she started to hear noises a few years ago and complained constantly about my staff making the noise intentionally to harm her. To cut an extremely long story short, her doctor diagnosed early dementia last year and advised me to move her to a retirement home before our relationship deteriorated.

We spent a lot of time last year looking for retirement homes that I could afford. But I didn’t think that she would cope in those that I could afford. Most were like hospital wards, with soulless rooms and shared bathrooms that were clean but old. Only one had lovely sweeping gardens, a quiet chapel and warm, sunny rooms, but the walk to the dining and entertainment areas was too long for my mom to do on a daily basis and especially in winter. So I kept her at home and did my best to keep her away from the noises that she insisted was now being piped into her cottage by remote control.

So I moved her to my spare bedroom during the week, and asked her to give us a break by staying in her cottage on weekends. But then she started to hear the noise even when she slept in my spare bedroom. And I knew then that she had to move, for both our sakes. So I renewed my efforts to find a retirement home for her. I found what seemed to be the ideal place, but the monthly rental is twice the monthly repayment on my mortgage bond. What I liked is that they have cottages to rent and they are close by. I took my mother to see the place and she likes it more than the other places we’ve seen. Each cottage has a large bedroom with built in cupboards, a large living area, a kitchenette and a shower. The gardens are small but lovely. The matron seems a bit ditzy, so we’ll have to see how that pans out. It’s a small place with a maximum of 30 residents. I will be signing the contract on Monday.

Which brings me to my word for the week. I will need to be brave this week. Although my mother wants to move out, she seems sad. I can only hope that she will make friends once she settles in. My husband and I want her to be happy. But she doesn’t see this move as coming from a place of good intentions. I think she sees this as us taking sides with our staff and getting rid of her instead of getting rid of our staff. It will get emotional. I will need to be brave.

Until next time ☕️

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